{ the great escape }

Baker is teething, which has made nap time a nightmare. I know he’s tired from the way he rubs his eyes and boy does the kid get grouchy, yet when I put him in his crib, after I’ve rocked him and he’s drank a bottle, he immediately stands at his crib screaming and crying. 

I’ve tried the whole cry it out thing. So far, it hasn’t worked. He was on such a good schedule and suddenly, he hates his crib. He’ll sleep in the car just fine, but I hate to get him used to napping in his car seat! 

Today I took a different approach. It had to work. I was at my whits end. After trying to cry it out a few times, I finally laid down next to his crib on the floor and pretended to sleep. He stood there, looking down at me like I was crazy and instead of crying, he talked to me. 

“Maaa!! Mama!!! MmmmmaaaaAAAA!!!!” 

I didn’t move. 

He shook the crib. “Ma!!” 

I still didn’t move. I laid as still as I could. After yelling my name for a few minutes didn’t work, he decided he’d use the all powerful word. 

“No! Nnnnooooooooo! No no!” 

He yelled down at me, as if to tell me my plan wouldn’t work. He knew I was there. He knew I would eventually get up and then he’d be free, but I stuck to my guns and played dead. 

Soon, he stopped talking and decided to walk the length of his crib about 40 times, the way a warden would walk the cell block, slowly peering at the prisoners to make sure they were in their right place. He was trying to break me, but I was unbreakable. After each round, he’d shake the crib, look down at me (I peeked from time to time to see what he was doing) and he’d make another round. 

Finally, after about 20 minutes, he stopped. I held my breath and listened as he laid down. YES! Victory! I began to celebrate in my mind, until I heard him shoot up. I had made no noise, but it was as if he had sensed my excitement, that he checked to see if I was still there. This continued for another 5 minutes. 

At last, he was asleep. I could tell by his breathing that he was getting into a deep sleep and I plotted my escape. I slowly, ever so quietly lifted my head to the door that was cracked open 3 inches.

There, staring back at me, was the cat. 

I was a prisoner, on the brink of escape, silently pleading with the snitch that spotted the breakout. “Nooo!!!” I screamed in my head, trying with all my might to use my telepathic cat to human powers. “DO NOT COME IN KITTY! DO NOT MEOW! DO NOT GIVE ME AWAY!"

He peered at me and cocked his head to the side as if to say, "What's in it for me?" I plead with him in my head, but to no avail. He pushed the door open wider and came in. I frantically listened to see if Baker would wake up. 

The cat ran under the crib, just out of my reach. I tried to swat him away, but he confused my furry with affection and began purring loudly. “No!!!” I screamed in my head.

Then he meowed. 

Baker suddenly shot up, began crying, and the cat dashed out of the room. I imagined escape alarms sounding loudly as the warden caught me. I was trapped again. 

“Damn you cat! DAMN YOU!!!” I screamed in my head and laid back down, quickly and quietly. I laid still, trying not to breath, but feeling as though I would cry at any minute. Maybe I should just get up. Maybe my escape wasn't planned well. This is my life. This is my sentence.  

Baker watched me for a minute. Then, as if my prayers were answered, he slowly laid back down. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t move for another 5 minutes until I heard his rhythmic breathing again and knew, it was now or never. 

I got up to an army crawl stance. I had to make this quick. 

With ninja like skills and without making a peep, I made my way towards the door, pausing for just a second to see if the warden was still out. He slept soundly. 

I made it past the doorway, and quickly, yet silently pulled the door shut behind me and held my breath. 

Silence. 

He was still out. 

And I was free!!!