{ the great escape }

Baker is teething, which has made nap time a nightmare. I know he’s tired from the way he rubs his eyes and boy does the kid get grouchy, yet when I put him in his crib, after I’ve rocked him and he’s drank a bottle, he immediately stands at his crib screaming and crying. 

I’ve tried the whole cry it out thing. So far, it hasn’t worked. He was on such a good schedule and suddenly, he hates his crib. He’ll sleep in the car just fine, but I hate to get him used to napping in his car seat! 

Today I took a different approach. It had to work. I was at my whits end. After trying to cry it out a few times, I finally laid down next to his crib on the floor and pretended to sleep. He stood there, looking down at me like I was crazy and instead of crying, he talked to me. 

“Maaa!! Mama!!! MmmmmaaaaAAAA!!!!” 

I didn’t move. 

He shook the crib. “Ma!!” 

I still didn’t move. I laid as still as I could. After yelling my name for a few minutes didn’t work, he decided he’d use the all powerful word. 

“No! Nnnnooooooooo! No no!” 

He yelled down at me, as if to tell me my plan wouldn’t work. He knew I was there. He knew I would eventually get up and then he’d be free, but I stuck to my guns and played dead. 

Soon, he stopped talking and decided to walk the length of his crib about 40 times, the way a warden would walk the cell block, slowly peering at the prisoners to make sure they were in their right place. He was trying to break me, but I was unbreakable. After each round, he’d shake the crib, look down at me (I peeked from time to time to see what he was doing) and he’d make another round. 

Finally, after about 20 minutes, he stopped. I held my breath and listened as he laid down. YES! Victory! I began to celebrate in my mind, until I heard him shoot up. I had made no noise, but it was as if he had sensed my excitement, that he checked to see if I was still there. This continued for another 5 minutes. 

At last, he was asleep. I could tell by his breathing that he was getting into a deep sleep and I plotted my escape. I slowly, ever so quietly lifted my head to the door that was cracked open 3 inches.

There, staring back at me, was the cat. 

I was a prisoner, on the brink of escape, silently pleading with the snitch that spotted the breakout. “Nooo!!!” I screamed in my head, trying with all my might to use my telepathic cat to human powers. “DO NOT COME IN KITTY! DO NOT MEOW! DO NOT GIVE ME AWAY!"

He peered at me and cocked his head to the side as if to say, "What's in it for me?" I plead with him in my head, but to no avail. He pushed the door open wider and came in. I frantically listened to see if Baker would wake up. 

The cat ran under the crib, just out of my reach. I tried to swat him away, but he confused my furry with affection and began purring loudly. “No!!!” I screamed in my head.

Then he meowed. 

Baker suddenly shot up, began crying, and the cat dashed out of the room. I imagined escape alarms sounding loudly as the warden caught me. I was trapped again. 

“Damn you cat! DAMN YOU!!!” I screamed in my head and laid back down, quickly and quietly. I laid still, trying not to breath, but feeling as though I would cry at any minute. Maybe I should just get up. Maybe my escape wasn't planned well. This is my life. This is my sentence.  

Baker watched me for a minute. Then, as if my prayers were answered, he slowly laid back down. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t move for another 5 minutes until I heard his rhythmic breathing again and knew, it was now or never. 

I got up to an army crawl stance. I had to make this quick. 

With ninja like skills and without making a peep, I made my way towards the door, pausing for just a second to see if the warden was still out. He slept soundly. 

I made it past the doorway, and quickly, yet silently pulled the door shut behind me and held my breath. 

Silence. 

He was still out. 

And I was free!!!

{ He's 1!!! }

 When I first had Baker, someone told me, "The days go by slow, but the years go by fast!" I never realized the truth of that statement until now! Seriously, where did the time go?! We took Baker to get his 1 year photos done at a local place called Camera Shy last week, and I was so impressed with their staff! Naturally, the day of the photo shoot, Baker refused to nap. I scheduled his pictures in the afternoon, thinking he'd have a good nap before lunch and then we'd go take pictures when he woke up. Wishful thinking! He was so hyper when we first got there and the staff kept saying how expressive and funny he was. Then the meltdown occurred. LUCKILY, the staff was amazing and they were able to snap the picture at just the right moment between tears. We got a lot of great shots - at the very end of the shoot, we let Baker get into a little cake we brought and he went crazy with it, smearing it into the floor and not really caring about tasting it! Doesn't he look pleased?

On Saturday we had a little gathering at our house with our families. I really didn't go all out (compared to some parties, which is fine - I just wanted something more low key & low stress)! My mom brought a delicious tomato bisque soup and my mother in law brought a fabulous relish tray! I had big plans to make Bakers cake and homemade breadsticks, but then I thought, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" so I ran to the market instead. Our local market will do a free little "smash cake" if you order a cake, and they make a dang good cake, so I had them do it! It was only $12 and I couldn't have made it that cute or that tasty on my own! I also picked up the breadsticks there and the balloons. Yay for one stop shopping! 

The one thing I did put time and effort into was this progressive banner. My friend McCall had done one similar and I loved it from the  minute I saw it! I used photoshop to zoom into a picture from different stages of his life and printed them out. Then I pasted them to black cardstock and cut around the face. I used scrapbook paper I had and made the little hats. The fringe is from green tissue paper I folded and cut and glued. Easy peasy! I loved it so much that I hung it in his room after the party!

 Baker was so spoiled and loved all of the presents he got! I think the first child, and even more, the first grandchild gets the most spoiled! It was fun seeing his reaction to all of his presents.

 

We saved cake until the very end so he could get into it and go crazy, which he did! It was near his nap time and he was a bit temperamental. He cried when we took his clothes off to get ready to eat cake, then he was happy when he had the cake, and cried again when we laughed as he smashed it. Silly boy!  But he did love the cake and ate a lot of it!

We're so grateful for our little guy and can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays! Love you Baker boy!

{ Baker 4 months }

Oh, my little Baker boy...where has the time gone? It's amazing the changes you have made in the last month. Here are a few new things you've learned...

• You've started talking a ton & you've really found your voice! You love to tell stories and we talk about your day when I'm putting you to bed at night. Sometimes as I'm trying to get you to go to sleep, I'll talk to you really soft and you'll look up at me, with your great big brown eyes, and softly coo back and give me a sweet smile. It's like you're telling me you love me too, and it melts my heart each time. It's a moment I'll cherish forever!
• Your favorite things are your hands! It's a rare occurrence when you don't have your hands in your mouth. You also like to suck on your two middle fingers or your thumb, and even though I try to sneak the binkie in your mouth instead, you prefer your hand.
• I swear you are teething. You drool like crazy and constantly rub your tongue on your top gums. The top is more bumpy than the bottom, but I haven't seen any tooth buds yet! I bet you get your top teeth first!
• Anytime I put you in your car seat or bouncy seat, you try to sit up. You lean your head way forward like you want to sit up, big kid style. Even though you can sit in your bumbo, you're still too wobbly to sit up on your own. If we set you on the crack where the cushions meet on the couch, it helps support you and you feel like a big kid, sitting "on your own". 
• Earlier this month, we went on a garden tour and bought a baby carrier for you so I wouldn't have to haul the stroller around. I was worried you wouldn't like it, but you loved it! Daddy came with us and loved carrying you around in it- you thought it was the funnest thing ever and would kick and squeal every time you got in it! 
• Your long, red, baby hair is starting to fall out and new, softer hair is growing in it's place. It's still red, but it's looking a little more dark. I'll have to cut a lock of your red hair while it's still there!   

You still continue to make us all smile and laugh with your cute little personality. I can't wait to see what the next month brings!                          xoxo, Momma

{ Baker 2 months }

 It's amazing how times truly does fly! I know I'll say this each month as I write your little monthly updates, but I honestly feel like I just came home from the hospital with you. Has it really been two months?

•  By far, my favorite things you've started doing recently are smiling & cooing. Each morning when Daddy gets you out of your crib and brings you to me, you give him the biggest smile and a little baby chuckle. It's like you're so happy to see him and so grateful to get out of your crib! You also smile at Mommy, especially when you get a diaper change! Something about having your pants and diaper off just sends a wave of happiness over you! And who can blame you? It's free to be nakey! 
• You love your toys, especially the little colorful toys that hang from your car seat handle. The noise they make intrigues you, and to be honest, I love the sound it makes too! It's fun to see you stare at them so intently, really concentrating on the color and textures, and then smile and laugh when we shake them.  
• It's so fun seeing you kick your arms when you're really excited about something. Your eyes get really wide and you just go wild. You especially do this when I get up to nurse you. The minute you hear your door open and hear my voice, you immediately stop fussing. You know what's coming and you can't hide your excitement for a little midnight snack!
• You still look like mini version of Daddy, but you did get my eyes! I'm 99% sure you're going to have brown eyes! Hallelujah!
• I also love, love, love your red hair! I never would have thought I'd have a little red head, but you surprised us all! I can't wait to see what a handsome guy you're turning into! Watch out girls!
• We finally got a handle of your reflux. You used to cry and cry nursing and pull away sweating and clenching your little fists. Now that you're on some baby antacid, you nurse much better which makes us both happy.
• Speaking of nursing, you still love to poop while on the boob. Silly boy. You are also as loud as ever as you nurse- you love your milky time!
• You had your first cold this month. As hard as I tried to shield you from the world to keep you from getting sick, you caught a cold (in your eye of all places)! You're a champ at taking your medicine though, which is a relief for me!
• You are such a big boy! You weighed 13.4 lbs at your last appointment and you've nearly grown out of your 3 month old clothes! 

I just love you so much Baker! I feel so blessed to be your mom and can't wait to see you grow up! (Okay, I can wait...but I do look forward to new experiences with you!)

xoxo,
Momma

my little red

{ oh poop! }

A few days ago I noticed Baker's right eye was getting a little red and more "goopy" than normal. I thought maybe he scratched his eye and so I didn't think much of it. Well, when I went into his room Monday night to feed him, his eye looked awful. You know those eye boogers? Well, they were yellowy and icky and all over his eye. I freaked out and while he nursed I googled "eye infection in infant" and got the crap scared out of me by the response the internet fed me. (Why I do this, I don't know. Note to self- don't use WebMD or Google your childs symptoms and freak out until the actual doctor confirms it!)

Anyway, the next morning, I called our pediatrician first thing and made an appointment to get it checked out. Our appointment was at 10:30 and I noticed Baker hadn't really pooped yet - and this kid is a pooper! I attributed his fussiness to the fact that he hadn't pooped and spent a few minutes doing kicky legs and patting his stomach to get things moving. Usually this does the trick, but still, his diaper remained poopless.

10:30 came and we arrived on time to our appointment, checked in, and then sat in the waiting room. We waited and waited and waited to be called back. Every time we've been to the doctor we've had to wait at least 30 minutes, which is so frustrating. (It might be time to find a new pediatrician).

We finally got called back to see the doctor and the nurse had me put Baker on the scale and then she had me move him to the exam table to take his temperature. I started to lift up his shirt, so she could access his armpit, but she said she needed to take it rectally. They'd never done it that way before and  usually they use the little ear thermometer. I told her he hadn't pooped yet and she said, "Oh, that's okay! This usually gets things moving!"

And boy oh boy did it! She probably had the thermometer in his bum for about a minute when he exploded. I'm talking projectile poop all over the exam table and all over her hand. She jumped about a foot in the air and I was trying so hard not to crack up. I apologized but secretly I was thinking, "HA! Payback for all those times we had to wait!!" Baker seemed pretty proud of himself and was happy as a clam after that!

Luckily, the nurse had a good attitude about it and laughed it off. I cleaned Baker up and waited (again) for the doctor. We found out the poor kid caught a cold in his eye (I didn't even know that was possible!) and it turned into pink eye. Luckily there are drops to help clear it up and he'll be fine.

Funny little pooper guy!

{ Baker 1 Month }

 

Oh my gosh- I had no idea writing this would make me so emotional! Little man, you are getting so big and it's passing by so fast! I can't believe it's been an entire month since you were born!

- You're such a big, strong boy! From the first day you were born, you've held up your little head! In the last month, you've also started to sit up for a few seconds when we hold you, and you love to try to "stand" when I hold you up straight and put your feet on my legs.

- Nursing has become second nature to you. You caught on so quick, which was such a relief to me! I love the time I spend with you nursing. You make the sweetest and funniest noises when you eat. I wish I could record the sighs and grunts you make while you nurse. You definitely vocalize when you're enjoying your meal! Sometimes you get "crazy head" when you're really hungry and your frantically looking for something to latch on to, moving your head from side to side like you're starving. You eventually find what you're looking for and then you're happy.

-So far, you love your car seat and fall asleep in it the minute we put you in it. Let's hope this lasts! You also like car rides and going on walks in the stroller.

- You know your momma's voice and immediately turn your head when you're awake and hear me speak. My favorite time of the day is when you're awake. I hold you up, facing me, and we talk. I sing you silly songs I make up or we play kissy toes (when you push your feet up to my face and I kiss your feet). Your expressions are priceless, and even though you can't speak back, I know we're communicating in our special way. 

- Everyone who knows your dad knows that you are your father's son. I like to say you're his "mini me". Daddy is one handsome fella, so I'm happy you look like him! I think you're getting momma's brown eyes though! You also move all around in your sleep - another trait you picked up from daddy! I'll put you down for a nap in your crib, and when I check on you, you've moved into a completely different position. Little bed monkey.

 - You're our little squirt. A nickname bestowed upon you after countless diaper changes. When the cool breeze of fresh air hits your bum during a diaper change, you can't help but pee (we've gotten used to covering your little wee during a diaper change to avoid getting sprayed) or you squirt a little poop while you're being wiped. You like to keep us on our toes. And while we're on the topic, it seems your favorite time to poop is when you're nursing. You get a very serious look on your face, stop sucking, and then bam, you poop and go right back to eating. Silly guy.

- Bathy time is your favorite activity so far. I'll never forget your first bath. I was so nervous, but you handled it like a champ and put momma at ease. You love the warm water and even love having your hair washed. I can't wait until you can splash around and interact more!

- You hate lotion and cry anytime I put it on you. Even if it's warm, you still squirm and cry. You also hate beanies or anything on your head, but you love to have your hair played with! Nothing relaxes you more than when momma runs her fingers over the top of your head.

Baker, you have changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. You're such a good baby and have brought so much joy and love into our lives. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Love,
Momma

{ a day in the life... }

3:45am - I hear a little cry in the night. Little man is hungry. He slept for about 4 1/2 hours before he woke up, so I know he's hungry. I feed him on both sides, burp him, swaddle him back up and put him back in his bassinet.

4:30am - Baker hasn't fallen asleep, and neither have I. He's fussy and I've given him his binkie, but he keeps spitting it out. I listen in the dark as he squirms and fusses, hoping he'll succumb to the night and fall back asleep. He doesn't. *sigh* I get up and put his binkie back in his mouth, hoping it'll sooth him, but as I get up, I knock over a bottle of prenatal vitamins that were on my side table. Oh well. I leave them on the floor. He continues to spit his binkie out, and I continue to get up to fix it. This happens about 5 times. I can't keep getting up to put his binkie back in his mouth.

5:00am - He's still fussy, so I get up, take him out, change his diaper (which was just barely wet from when I fed him at 3:45), swaddle him again so his arms are free (sometimes he hates feeling constricted - can you blame him?) and decide against the binkie. I hold him close and tight and hum softly to him. His eyes start to droop. I feel hopeful that it's working. His eyes open again, but they're kind of squinty. He's fighting this. The battle is on. I hold him tighter and start to rock a little. I continue to hum softly. He starts to close his eyes. I feel his body start to go limp and his eyes start doing the rapid eye movement thing. YES! He's asleep! Victory! I quietly and gently place him back in his bassinet, holding my breath. I'm so tired.

5:30am - I stand by his bassinet, waiting for any signs of movement. I'm silent and try to keep my breathing as quiet as possible. When I think he's good and alseep, I turn to get into bed. Suddenly, I hear a loud rattle. Damn it! I kicked the bottle of vitamins that I left on the floor. I freeze, holding my breath again. Baby stirs, grunts, and then it's silent. Phew! I crawl into bed as quietly as I can. As my head hits the pillow, I hear him start to squirm. Oh no. He grunts, then gets fussy. This can't be happening. I wait. He starts to cry. I feel like crying & I wait some more. His soft cries turn into full blown crying. He's mad and tired. I'm exhausted and don't know what to do. I decide to let him cry it out.

5:37am - I check the clock. How long do you let them cry it out? The minutes are passing at a snail pace. Do I get up? I get teary. I hate hearing him cry. Just wait Shannon. Five minutes pass, but it feels like eternity.

5:45 - Still crying. Okay, I decide I'm going to get up. Suddenly, there is a pause in his crying. I wait. He wimpers, lets out one last cry, and then it's silent. I listen. I can hear him breathing. Is he sleeping? I wait a few more minutes and then shine my cell phone light on him. Success! He's finally asleep! I lay back down and try to fall back asleep as well.

6:45 - I wake up and hear him fussing again. I bring him back to bed with me and offer the boob. He doesn't want it and falls asleep in my arms. I lay him in bed with me and we fall asleep again.

7:20 - Baker wakes up, squirming. He's stretching and trying to wake up. I pat his tummy and try to help him get coherent enough to nurse. This time, he eats.

7:50 - Time to go downstairs. I put him in his bouncy/vibrating seat while I make myself breakfast. He falls asleep.

8:00 - I fall asleep on the couch

9:00 - I wake up, clean up the kitchen, and turn on the tv. I start to watch It's Complicated (LOVE the house and interior in that movie!)

9:45 - Little man wakes up, hungry. He eats and does a big ol' fart/poop as he's eating (which seems to be his favorite time to poop). When he finishes nursing, he's wide awake. We chat for a bit and I sing to him. He makes funny faces and acts like he wants to say something back. Funny baby. I change his diaper and naturally, as I'm wiping his bum, he does another big fart and poop comes flying out. Squirty baby poop. Ewww...luckily, I catch it in his diaper. Disaster averted. With a new dydie on, we play some more & then I put him in his swing.

10:30 - He falls asleep in his swing. I take him out and carry him up to his crib to nap. One of my girlfriends texts and asks if we'd like to go on a walk. The weather is beautiful today and I tell her we can meet up at noon. I'm excited about the fresh air and sunshine! While he's sleeping, I shower, make my bed, & get ready. 

11:45 - I get little man ready for our outing. He's dressed appropriately and I think he might need to wear a beanie to keep his head warm. I place a snugly, soft beanie on his head and he freaks out. Like, really freaks out. I quickly take it off his head and frantically check inside the hat to see if something poked him. There is nothing in there. I look all over his head for signs of injury, which judging by his cry, must have happened. Still, there is nothing. I console him and he's fine. Note to self: No beanies.

12:00 - I put him in his car seat which is built to fit into the stroller & fasten him in, even though we're just walking around the block. You never know when a sudden gust of wind might knock the bulky stroller over. Better safe than sorry (I'm still paranoid). He's got a blankie over him, which makes him quite comfortable and cozy. We meet up with my girlfriend and walk around the block, then stop at the park behind our house and chat in the sun. Little man sleeps through the whole outing, covered by the canopy of the stroller, with the added protection of his car seat cover over that.

1:30 - It's time for him to eat so we say goodbye to our friends. He nurses & falls back asleep after he burps. I put him in his bouncy seat and dust.

2:30 - Baby wakes up and I hold him up so he's facing me. I talk to him and he makes more funny faces. We take pictures to send to grandma. He loves the camera - can you tell?

3:00 -Time for another dydie (aka diaper) change. I take him up to his room to change him on the changing table. As I clean him up, I hold his diaper up as a shield, in case he squirts again. So far, he seems okay. I put my guard down (aka the old diaper), and as I grab the new diaper to slide under his bum, he decides it's time to drop another deuce and lets a fresh load loose. It's projectile. My knee jerk reaction is to catch it in my hand, which I do, but most of it gets all over. Thankfully, he was laying on a disposable changing table pad, which caught most of it. There is a little poop on his hutch. I reach for the wipes. We go through about 10. He obviously thinks this is great fun, and while he is kicking and waving his arms and legs around in a victory dance, he manages to smear his foot in the poop puddle. Awesome. All I can do is laugh. Oh little guy!

3:15 - We're finally both cleaned up. I put him in his bouncy seat and start blogging. He loves his seat and is kicking his legs and moving his arms around. I think he's plotting his next poop sabotage.

3:30 - Baker falls asleep and I move him to his crib. I watch him for a minute, as he makes all sorts of funny faces in his sleep. I can't get enough of him. I go back to my bedroom and sort the laundry while I dance around to my "live life and love it" mix on Spotify. I really break out the moves when OutKast's Hey Ya comes on. Too bad Baker is asleep and has to miss this. Momma's got moves!

5:00 -Time to eat again. After he eats, we pack up and head to gammy's house. She is watching him while I run some errands. (Again, still paranoid momma and don't want to take him out to public places - covered or not).

7:45 -After a trip to Walmart & Kohls, I return home to find little guy just waking up. I nurse him and after he's done eating, he wakes up and does his cutest tricks for all of us to fawn over.

9:45 - We return home from our outing and he's hungry. Once again, I nurse, burp, and we play for a bit. Then it's time for jammies and a fresh dydie.

10:35 - Present time. We're about to go to bed, and I feel anxious about what the night will hold. I have a tentative plan of action, should things mimic last nights events, however if you're a mom, you know that most "plans" get thrown out the window. In the mean time, I've swaddled him up, gave him a new binkie (this one seems to stay in better than the other kind I was using), cuddled for a minute, and then I placed him in his bassinet. He fussed for a bit, so I picked him up and patted his back. It only tooks a few minutes before he fell back asleep. So far, he's stayed asleep....

*yawn* Wish us luck tonight! Good night!

P.S. This is where I want all you lurkers to come out of the woodwork and comment!! What works for you when you put your babies to bed? I try to make it as quiet and silent as possible, so he knows the difference between daytime napping and sleep time. Any thoughts would be appreciated! (As long as you don't tell me I'm a bad mom! Ha!)

{ faux galvanized letter }

I love the look of big, galvanized letters. 

I really wanted to find a vintage one for Baker's room, however after looking all over antique & thrift stores, I decided it would be easier and cheaper to make my own.

I bought a big ol' 23.5" paper mache letter from Joann. They run about $10 but if you use your 40% off coupon, it's really cheap!

These are the paints & colors I used- again, very cheap! I think they're around a $1.50 each at Joann or Hobby Lobby.

First, I painted a coat of the flat, Charcoal paint by Delta all over the letter. I let it dry for about a minute (just until it didn't get all over my hands). You can let it dry longer, but I was in a hurry. The whole project took me about 10 minutes.

Because galvanized metal isn't flat, I needed to add some dimension and sheen. I used a scrap piece of fabric, bunched it up, and blotted on the darker metalic paint (FolkArt Metallic in Gunmetal Gray). There wasn't really any rhyme or reason to it - i just blotted and smeared here and there, leaving a tiny bit of the flat color showing under it. Make sure you do this on the inside and outside areas of the letter- not just the face of it!

I used the same technique for the last step but with the lighter metallic paint (FolkArt Metallic in Silver Sterling, and blotted here and there to show some of the darker metallic. 

Don't worry if it's not perfect - you just want the illusion that it's metal! 

Here is the finished product! I poked a hole in the back of the letter and hung it with a small nail. It's so light, you could even hang it with a push pin.

I love how it turned out! Now go make one too!

{ Baker's birth story }

I started writing this when I was in the hospital and like all of you know, when you get home life takes over and I put this on the back burner.

I really should have finished writing this while everything was fresh in my mind, so while Baker is napping and before too much times passes, I wanted to write about the week leading up to his birth & what happened when the day finally came.

The last few weeks of my pregnancy had been rough, with my feet, ankles, legs, & hands swelling up like crazy & my blood pressure rising. I went in for my regular weekly appointment on February 7th, and while we were there, the doctor asked us if anyone had talked to us about when we'd deliver (I see a team of doctors instead of just one). Andrew and I looked at each other like "Um, no...." and we told the doctor we were just planning on delivering when I went into labor. My doctor then told me that due to my high blood pressure and the levels of protein in my urine, I was heading towards pre-eclampsia. He thought I should deliver on the 15th. 

All I could think was "WHAT?!" I immediately called my mom, excited but also anxious. Delivering on the 15th meant that my baby would be 2 weeks early. Was he ready? Was I ready? I trusted my doctors though and headed over to labor and delivery for a quick non stress test. Since baby was fine, they sent me home with 2 big ol' empty jugs, 2 toilet "hats", and told me I had to track my urine for the next 24 hours. Because capturing and keeping each drop of urine ice cold isn't really conducive with work (would you want a jug of pee sitting in ice on your desk?!) I called my boss and let her know I wouldn't be in the next day. I also told her that because of the swelling and high blood pressure, my doctors wanted me to stay off my feet and basically said I shouldn't return to work until further notice (darn it, right?)

So I went home, began the urine test (which really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be) and relaxed as much as I could. Hearing that my baby would be coming sooner than later, all I could think about were all the things I had left to do. I still hadn't gotten around to doing the binding on his quilt for his room, my house was a mess (I totally wanted to deep clean before he came), I didn't have a diaper bag, my bags weren't packed, etc etc. Looking back now, they weren't really big deal things- I mean, it's not like I didn't have  car seat or a place for him to sleep, but still, I hate feeling unprepared. On top of that, Andrew took a last minute trip to Dallas for work. We knew the baby wasn't coming before Friday and I figured I'd be fine while he was gone. He left on Saturday and was supposed to come on Thursday night. One day before I was to deliver. (I know, I know...what were we thinking!?)

You've heard the term, when it rains it pours, right? Well on Monday, I had another appointment with my doctor to verify that things were still okay and that Friday was still the date. Right as I was leaving for my appointment, I heard water running in my living room. Not a good sign. I opened up the utility closet and saw that my water heater was leaking like crazy- the overflow pipe was gushing water and while it was draining into the overflow like it's supposed to, the overflow was leaking & water was getting everywhere. I quickly called my dad and asked if that was normal. He said it wasn't (duh Shan) and offered to call plumbers. Then I called Andrew in a panic as I headed to my appointment. I told him I thought it would be okay while I was gone (the water wasn't leaking into our living room floor yet but it wasn't looking good). I quickly went to my appointment, verified that I was still going to have a baby on Friday, but they wanted to do one more non-stress test that day. Overwhelmed, I called my mom and started crying, "My water heater is broken and I have to go to the hospital for a NST! I need someone! Andrew is in Texas!" My poor mom interpreted that as "my water broke and I'm going to the hospital" and told me she'd head down right then. I called Andrew crying and told him I couldn't handle what was going on and he needed to get on the next flight home. While he worked on that, he called his dad who came down to help me fix my water heater. My mom, dad, & father in law showed up at the same time, and what could have been an expensive fix ended up being pretty minor. My mom took me to the hospital for my NST while the dad's fixed the water heater. The NST showed everything was fine - phew - and Andrew was heading home the next morning. (Really, what was I thinking letting him go on a business trip the week I was supposed to give birth? Live and learn, right?!)

When friends and family caught word that the baby was coming sooner than later, they asked if I needed anything. Normally, I would tell them I was fine, but this time I actually took them up on their offers! I asked my sister in laws to help me clean my house and they were more than willing! It was so nice to know that I'd have a nice, clean, organized house to come home to after I got home from the hospital. There was also so much I hadn't gotten done yet. Minor things, but still - like sewing my quilt, boppy cover, car seat cover, putting up drapes in Baker's nursery, etc. Like I said, small things, but I still felt unprepared.

The night before Baker arrived was bittersweet. I feel silly, but honestly, thinking back to that night, I still get a little teary. Andrew helped me pack my bag for the hospital, and as we crawled into bed I started crying. I thought about how it was the last time my little guy was going to be in my stomach. There's something so intimate about feeling your baby move inside you. I was excited to hold him in my arms, but after spending so much time - just he and I - I was emotional. Then I started thinking about how long it had been just Andrew and I. When I explained why I was crying, Andrew cried with me. They were happy, thankful tears - we had been hoping and praying for this for years and knowing we'd finally meet our little guy the next day was so sweet. We had our last family prayer with just the two of us and thanked the Lord for blessing our lives and then went to bed. I hardly slept that night, anxious about what was to come.

The Big Day...
We were scheduled to be at the hospital at 6:30am. I woke up at 5:00, got ready, & headed over to the hospital with everything we'd need. I figured if I got there at 6:30, we'd probably have a baby by 3:00pm at the latest...boy was I wrong!
Shortly after we arrived, they started the pitocin and broke my water at 7:30. I hadn't gotten my epidural yet, because I wanted to experience labor pains (call me crazy) and the sensation from having my water break was unlike anything I've ever experienced. Pretty much like peeing your pants but the water literally gushed out and just kept coming. I was amazed at how much fluid there was (TMI? Get used to it...)! Any time I'd adjust myself or laugh, more would come out, which would make me laugh more.

Around 10:30, I was starting to feel some contractions. Nothing major- just small cramping. It felt like menstrual cramps and I still didn't feel like I wanted the epidural yet. It wasn't until the nurses came in to hook me up to the internal monitors that I realized pain killers would be nice. (Since baby boy kept moving around, the external monitors weren't tracking his heart rate like they should.) They attempted to insert them and ohmuhgosh...I about died. I thought being "checked" for dilation hurt...oh no. This was excruciating. They got the wire in that monitored my contractions, but they couldn't connect the other wire to baby's head in the right spot. After trying for what seemed like forever (it was actually only a few minutes), they gave up and would try again in a bit.
When they left, I broke down, started crying and told Andrew I was ready for the epidural. I felt like it took the anesthesiologist forever to get there and even the epidural hurt. He was having trouble getting the catheter in the right spot in my spine and feeling him feel around hurt. Ouch. Finally, they got it in and within a few minutes, I was way more comfortable. It wasn't long after that when the nurses tried the internal monitors again and got them connected to the baby.

Every hour or so, the nurse would come in and check to see how far I'd progressed. Things were moving very slowly, but baby was doing fine, so they upped the pitocin just a bit to help me progress faster. At 3:00 I was finally dilated to a 5 and they said usually it's pretty fast from there & normally you progress about a centimeter each hour. We should have a baby here by 9:00, I thought! Sadly, that didn't happen.

Around 5:00 I started feeling the contractions pretty bad. I pressed the button for the epirdural a few times for another dose of medicine, but the pain wasn't subsiding. Finally, we called the nurse in. My epidural had run out and the alarm on the bag that warns you when the medicine is getting low didn't go off. At that point, I could feel everything and I was having some pretty intense contractions. My mom coached me through them, while I tried breathing through them and cried. To ya'll who do this naturally, kuddos to you! I think I could have managed the pain better, had I not had the pitocin and had I been prepared for it, but in the moment, it was awful. The anesthesiologist came back in, fixed me back up, and all was well.

Finally, at 10:30 at night, my doctor came in to talk to me. He explained that even though baby was doing well, I was still at a 5 and even felt like I was starting to swell up. He said I was more like a 4 1/2. It was time for us to start talking about a c-section.

A lump immediately formed in my throat and I did my best to not start bawling until after he left the room. Then I broke down. A c-section was not part of my plan at all. I was exhausted and terrified. The doctor suggested we talk it over and have him come back in an hour to check again. My dad was there and he and Andrew gave me a blessing. I immediately felt comforted and knew that while this wasn't in my plan, things would be okay, and the c-section was the route we needed to take to get him there safely.

The doctor came back in, checked me (I was a 4 by then- definitely swelling) and they prepared me for the c-section. The rest is a bit blurry. I was honestly so tired and keeping my eyes open felt like torture. I remember them wheeling me back to the operating room and a new anesthesiologist (who was so amazing and so so sweet) talked to me about what they were going to do. He stayed with me the whole time and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I'm so grateful for his help and assurance during that time! Andrew was the only one allowed in the room as far as family went and I made sure he took lots of pictures. He was also a great support and kept telling me I was doing great.

When they got me on the operating table, they put the screen up and started the procedure. I couldn't really feel them cutting me but I could feel the pressure. And after laboring for 18 hours, I thought it hurt like hell. After about 5 minutes, I felt some movement and then heard the most amazing sound I will ever hear - my baby's first cry! He was not a happy boy, going from a cozy, warm environment to a bright, cold room! They told us he was a boy (which we knew, but it was still a nice confirmation!) and I saw them carry him over to the table to get cleaned up and I couldn't stop crying or laughing. I was so happy! I just wish I could have held him in my arms right after he was born. But I was grateful he was okay and healthy.

 Because he was posterior & situated funny inside me, he had such a little cone head from the pressure on my cervix! Poor baby! He was 9 pounds & 21 inches long - 2 weeks early! Can you imagine if I'd gone to 40 weeks!?

 Once he was wrapped up, the nurse brought him to me. I couldn't believe how beautiful and big he was! I kissed him and just stared in awe at this little one that Andrew and I created. It was amazing.

 While they stitched me back up, Andrew took him back into the labor and delivery room to introduce him to the rest of our family. When they wheeled me back in, we announced his name to everyone. I tried to breast feed that night, but I was so tired and couldn't stay awake. I had them take him to the nursery for the night so I could sleep. At this point it was about 1:30am. 

 Andrew was amazing through the whole ordeal. So supportive and loving. It was love at first sight for both of us! All in all, things definitely didn't go as I planned or hoped, but I'm so grateful for all the support we received for good doctors! Mostly I'm grateful for our healthy, beautiful baby boy.

Aren't my guys handsome?

{ he's here! }

We are so in love!

{ pregnancy diary: week 35, 36, 37ish }

Oh who am I kidding- this poor blog has been neglected and I've done a terrible job writing about my pregnancy. 

Truth be told, I feel like I've had it rough! I've been sick non stop since September, due mainly to the awful sick season we've had (colds, flu, strep, etc) and the dang inversion (remember when our air quality was one of the worst in the world?!). I had a bad gallbladder attack and spend a little time in labor and delivery for that! Then there was the time I totally biffed it and landed on my 35 week pregnant belly (picture someone dropping, arms out front, to slide down a slip n slide, except instead of a slip n slide, it was concrete and the water was frozen ice). I also spend a little time in L&D for that fun flop. And finally, I've swelled up like a summer sausage. At first I thought it was just pregnancy swelling, but after my feet, ankles, and legs kept getting bigger and bigger, and my blood pressure started getting higher and higher, we realized I had a little pre-eclampsia. More time in L&D and a few tests later, my doctor has decided to induce me this Friday. I'll be 38 weeks exactly and little guy is measuring big, so I'm sure we'll be fine. 

Really though, for all that I've been through, I wouldn't change a thing. I still can't believe that I'm pregnant. 

I can't believe that in 4 short days, I'll be holding this tiny human that's been growing in my belly. I will finally see the face that me and Andrew created. 

I'm going to be a mom! 

Any last bits of advice?